u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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