The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
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he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
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Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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