I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
