i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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