oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
