the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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