ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
