Porn is love you can see.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
