so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
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thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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