i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
