Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
