4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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