Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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