We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
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Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
whose parrot is this?
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Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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