Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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