this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
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i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
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Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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