Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
