weddingsv make me drug and hornr
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You can't just leave with hair like that
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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