Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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