So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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