She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
