So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
