I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
