where does the pee come out of this thing
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We have so much sex to catch up on
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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