It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Sober January is a disaster.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
