Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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