Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
