we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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