Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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