No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just google imaged poop.
it's like iHOP with fire
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
