I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
