dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
