i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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