I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
foreskin is a definite game changer
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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