i jhust puked up my retainher.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize