I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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