you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
