you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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