Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
