I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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