Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
