tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this just has baby written all over it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
