Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
