Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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