I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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