Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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