I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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