Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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