somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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