Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
