i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
