she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
