I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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