All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
