omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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