i barfeds in our rink
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
