Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
