last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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