ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
