Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Who died my cat blue again?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
