When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My cat gives me a boner
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
