..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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