found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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